Child: a young human who is below the legal age of majority.
“She’s such a child!” One would use this statement to describe an immature and irresponsible person. Yet in my life I have seen more immature adults than children. Is it then correct to apply such generalisations?
The essence of coaching is to support a person change in the way that they wish, building awareness to empower them as they work towards that change. Coaching is non-judgemental listening, being present in mind, body and soul. Coaching is partnering where the coach and the coachee work at the same level of thought, irrespective of age or seniority.
Why can we not coach children then? Why do we believe that they will benefit only by our advice, our opinion, our experiences? Why is it important to send them to a school of high ranking, make them do multiple after-school activities to hone every possible skill, when we can’t satisfy their basic need of being heard?
Structure is important, a trestle almost that they can climb. Support them, be there to catch them if they fall, but let them climb freely, let them experience their own wins, their own struggles, till they learn what works for them and what doesn’t.
Too often I have seen children being dictated to? Why, maybe because it’s easier, the job gets done in less than a minute. How about sitting down and talking to them, explaining why the job has to be done in a particular way, listen to them, their views, their explanations, listen free of your own judgements, maybe there is something that they will understand in this talk, maybe there is something that your will learn.
Every parent has their own parenting style. There is nothing wrong with that. We teach what we have learnt. But how about unlearning something that is not relevant in this age and time. Yes its not easy, takes time, patience and perseverance. Maybe the parent needs a coach?
You don’t always need a coach or a counsellor to offer support to your child – a parent, a teacher, a teaching assistant can do the same. It does take a bit of effort I admit, but if you think of the long-term, the mind that you are reinforcing, the life that you are touching, you are shaping the future generation.